


I will carry you home

by Gia_cz



Category: SHINee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:02:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27636545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gia_cz/pseuds/Gia_cz
Summary: Written for Z. and her passionate Onho heart.
Relationships: Choi Minho/Lee Jinki | Onew
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	I will carry you home

Jinki tries his very best and orders himself to stop checking his watch every couple of minutes.

Yes, it is true that the VLive took longer than he anticipated and yes, they are meant to be finished and gone by now, but then really, it isn’t surprising to Jinki from where he sits quietly in the corner of the room and observes the younger man as he patiently answers all questions the curious staff members have for him.

Bowing with respect. Smiling and nodding, letting them know that he is genuinely interested in whatever they have to say, letting them know that their opinion matters.

It is an intoxicating feeling. Being on a receiving end of Choi Minho’s undiluted attention when the man’s eyes fixate on everything you want to share, those big, brown eyes so open and sincere you want to keep looking at them perhaps forever.

Oh yes, Jinki knows the feeling well.

But he also recognizes the way Minho’s weight shifts ever so slightly when he talks in that soft tone of his, and Jinki knows the other man is getting tired. Jinki himself remembers far too well how he felt, being thrown from the barrack gates straight in front of the flashing cameras. It’s not easy. But they all do it anyway.

°°° °°°

They walk towards Jinki’s car in silence and it’s fine with him because Jinki isn’t and never was afraid of silence, never thought it had to be filled with an idle chatter just to avoid the potential awkwardness of it all. Jinki knows silence is needed sometimes.

The doors of his car close behind them and he quietly observes Minho as he noisily lets go of a puff of air, he must have been holding inside of his lungs for a very long time.

“Better?” Jinki offers carefully, and his hand doesn’t hesitate when it lands on the top of Minho’s thigh, giving his friend a reassuring squeeze. The younger man changed from the earlier outfit, and Jinki’s fingers rest against the bare skin where it pokes through the rip in Minho’s jeans and Jinki is glad to find out that Minho still feels as warm and lovely as Jinki remembers him to be.

Jinki’s heart slams against his ribcage almost painfully when Minho looks at Jinki’s hand on him with a surprise, because yes, they still haven’t fully figured out where exactly are they heading with their – their relationship, but surely Minho doesn’t think, he cannot think that whatever happened between the two of them before their enlistment wasn’t real.

The younger man’s hand joins Jinki’s on the top of Minho’s thigh and although his smile is laced with the tiredness of a very long day his voice is steady as always, “you have no idea, hyung.”

°°° °°°

He planned to treat Minho to a nice dinner outside or at least to a decent takeaway, but Minho reassures him that his mother is planning to cook all dishes under the sun to celebrate his return home tomorrow, and that instant noodles are perfectly acceptable and not a reminder of what an embarrassment of a cook Lee Jinki really is.

Jinki didn’t think to restock the cupboards and small fridge in his studio, because he thought he would take Minho somewhere lovely where they could enjoy a quiet, candlelight dinner. But he doesn’t have it in him – to tell the younger man about the reservation Jinki made all those weeks ago, not when Minho yawns for what seems to be an umpteenth time since they left the studio.

“I haven’t tidy the place up for a while,” Jinki explains while he tries to unlock the door to his studio with his other arm being preoccupied being wrapped around Minho’s waist, who is using Jinki’s shoulder as a very comfortable pillow. “I mean, I only come here when I want to switch off from everything-,” _when I want to be alone with you_ , Jinki thinks but doesn’t say aloud, because he is babbling, he knows he is babbling, but he can feel Minho’s eyelashes as they fan against his skin, and he knows the other man is watching him and he can’t help himself, he is always _always_ so useless about the things which come to other people naturally, about the things which truly matter in life.

Minho’s lips are a pliant and little bit dry where they touch Jinki’s cheek and Jinki watches Minho as he takes the keys from him and unlocks the door on the very first attempt.

Jinki can’t help himself but smile as he watches his friend, who barges into the studio, curiously looking left and right and throwing his arms around himself in disbelief, “perfectly tidy as always, hyung! Not even a speck of dust. You wound me, you liar.”

“Well, if we are talking in Taemin’s standards then-“, Jinki gets interrupted midsentence as Minho turns around and although his eyes are still heavy with exhaustion, they are also full of something else, something Jinki fears to detangle bit by bit and call it by its rightful name.

“Learn how to receive a compliment, hyung! At least when it comes from me, okay?” It seems as if Minho is about to continue his argument, but then he decides to kick his shoes off instead, and Jinki has a second or two to put himself back together.

_This is what the whole tragedy comes to, isn’t it?_

Jinki is good in communicating with his body and gestures rather than words, and he isn’t surprised (not anymore) when people grow frustrated with him.

He bites onto his bottom lip until it’s painful and it helps Jinki to bring him back to _here and now_ , and he feels horribly selfish when he sees the way Minho’s whole posture sinks under the busy schedule of the day.

Jinki walks towards Minho, who is now sitting at Jinki’s piano, the instrument his grandparents gifted him what now seems to be like a whole lifetime ago.

“Would you like some hot chocolate?” Jinki asks at the same time Minho’s fingers skim over the papers on the top of the piano and the man raises his eyebrows in a silent question.

“Oh yes, that’s Taemin’s Pansy. I really like the song, you know, and he asked me for a little help,” Jinki nods to nobody in particular, feeling stupidly clumsy under Minho’s gaze because he realizes how sentimental he sounds. “It helps me to miss him a little bit less.”

“He has done so well for himself, hasn’t he? I mean, just to be able to witness the things he is achieving with SuperM and with his solo, it’s just incredible,” Minho tells him as they walk over to Jinki’s minimalistic kitchen. “But he will always have Jongin to look after him and he will always have us too.”

Jinki doesn’t miss the way Minho’s eyes glance back towards the piano.

“Yeah, he will always have us too,” Jinki agrees as he gathers milk, cocoa powder and pot from various cupboards.

He doesn’t know _how and when_ exactly, but there is very warm and very solid body leaning against his back as he is suddenly wrapped in one of Minho’s trademark back hugs. Minho’s lips are pressed against the back of Jinki’s neck and it seems almost desperate, the way Jinki thinks he can feel a slight scratch of Minho’s top teeth against his sensitive skin.

“I tried. I tried so fucking hard, hyung. I try every single day. But then you do something completely small and insignificant and so entirely _you_ , and I’m back where it all started and there is just no chance. Nobody, nobody makes me a hot chocolate the way you do, because it’s just so old fashioned and ugh – hyung,” Jinki thinks Minho sounds like he is talking about hot chocolate but also about something entirely else, but it’s difficult to think with Minho’s body against his so Jinki doesn’t think about anything in particular and enjoys the simple closeness of someone dear and gets to the task in hand.

°°° °°°

Hot chocolate and instant noodles aren’t probably the combination one would think of as a _perfect match_ , but then Minho thinks that a lot of people around him would say the same thing about him and Lee Jinki. Yet, when he clears the bowl and take the last sip of his hot chocolate, watching his life long friend as he walks over to him and outstretches his arm with quiet “let me take care of you, Minho,” he knows all these people were, are and always will be nothing but wrong.

°°° °°°

This? This is so much easier for Jinki. He leads Minho to the bathroom, which was never meant to accommodate two grown-up men taking a shower together, but Jinki and Minho always found the right way to fight against the odds.

He runs the shower and although the water is set up perhaps a little bit hotter than he would prefer it himself, Jinki learnt that Minho likes overly hot, long and lazy showers when he gets the chance and time, and Jinki wants nothing more than keeping Minho warm and content forever.

Minho’s movements are slow and sleepy as he strips and Jinki’s heart is aching for the man in front of him, the man, who despite being freshly out of the military and having a whole family and many friends waiting for his return home, chose to return to Jinki first. He cannot miss the way Minho’s body changed through the time they haven’t seen each other, he seems leaner and stronger somehow, but also strangely vulnerable in the way he stands in front of Jinki completely naked and it truly takes Jinki’s breath away.

Jinki doesn’t dwell much on the fact how much weight he put on since being back home and how much weight he did or didn’t lose in the gym because Minho always sees Jinki for what he truly is and in some aspect it gives Jinki freedom about himself and his insecurities in a way nothing else could.

“Fuck, hyung. I almost forgot how beautiful you are naked. I swear, Jinki, it’s not me missing you like crazy, you really did become even hotter.”

_Learn how to receive a compliment!_ Jinki’s mind supplies ever so helpfully as he joins Minho in the shower and they are instantly unbearably close to each other because the shower is simply too small for them.

“Thank you,” he replies with a smile and works some shampoo between his palms. Jinki loves taking care of Minho when the other man lets him, and he wishes Minho lets himself admit how good it feels more often.

He takes his time as he washes Minho’s hair and before he swaps the shampoo for soap and moves to Minho’s body.

Minho’s eyes are watching him intently and lose nothing of their sharpness, but his body is turning more and more pliant under Jinki’s gentle touch and Jinki understands the small, desperate sighs that escape Minho’s mouth, the very same sentiment mirrors itself in every part of Jinki’s body.

Jinki’s eyes don’t leave Minho’s for a second, not even when his hands move lower to wash Minho’s dick, which is same as rest of the man - lean, long and absolutely gorgeous. It will never stop amaze Jinki, the way the younger man’s skin is soft all over but incredibly so much softer where only intimate partner would know how he feels. He watches as Minho’s lips shape into a small, surprised o as Jinki reaches behind his balls and between his cheeks.

He feels the way Minho sways even closer to him and Jinki thinks it has always been this way, Minho cruising back to Jinki no matter how far away the fate decided to take him.

He kneels on the bottom of the bathtub as he washes Minho’s legs and feet and although the other man tries his best to keep his eyes open, Jinki doesn’t miss the fact that each time Minho’s eyes close it takes a little bit longer for him to open them again.

He kisses the other man’s knee tenderly as he stands up and Jinki isn’t surprised by all those contradicting emotions, which collide inside of his chest. He just doesn’t understand why did he choose to fight against them for so long.

°°° °°°

They kiss while they walk over to Jinki’s bedroom and Jinki can’t remember the last time their kisses witnessed the luxury of being this kind of unhurried, and in some way, it really feels like their first time together.

Minho always kisses as he does everything else; he dives into it with passion and his whole body and Jinki’s mouth opens as the younger man licks into it with a happy hum and it’s almost as if it isn’t Minho, who just returned back home – it’s as if Jinki himself submerged into something fundamental and so _so_ safe and how could he ever imagine life without the other man?

It’s as if the more Jinki touches Minho the more he becomes awake and longing to be in a control of things, but Jinki’s lips against Minho’s slow down and he savours the way Minho’s mouth tastes and feels, he enjoys the way they fit together – almost too perfectly, and he wonders if there perhaps were some other lives they already managed to live and if so, he is certain he met Minho in every single one of them.

He manoeuvres Minho towards the bed and the other man goes without the slightest complaint, and Jinki thinks that maybe Minho feels it too.

“Let me take care of you, Minho,” he repeats his earlier words as he kisses his way over the other man’s smooth chest and it’s almost painful for Jinki to think how much he missed this. The closeness of someone, who understands Jinki, and his internal processes to the smallest of nuances. He doesn’t have to wear any of his masks. He doesn’t have to be someone he was never meant to be. “Just let me, okay?”

Minho smiles at him – a bright and happy smile and Jinki feels an excited thump of Minho’s heart where it beats under Jinki’s outstretched palm. He wiggles his finger ever so slightly and thinks if this is what it really feels like when you have somebody else’s heart resting in your hand vulnerable and for taking, what it really feels like to be truly loved.

He leans down and kisses Minho once again, resting his lips at the place Minho’s neck meets his shoulder and where he always felt the warmest to Jinki. He can’t help but grins to himself as he forces Minho to turn over and the younger man grunts in response – half in excitement, half in exhaustion.

Jinki takes his time as he massages Minho’s shoulders and back, working on those tight knots of sleepless nights, stress and responsibility. He listens to Minho’s content sighs happily and doesn’t stop even when his fingers start to feel numb and tired, he hopes that through the touch he can communicate things his voice never could. He presses open mouth kisses to Minho’s neck and back and it makes Jinki giddy, the way Minho whimpers into the pillow with frustration.

“Honestly, hyung. Will you let me touch you before I fall asleep or is this all part of some perfectly constructed evil plan?”

Jinki doesn’t falter as he continues lower across Minho’s body his fingers now kneading the firm flesh of other man’s buttocks. He doesn’t waste any time as he spreads Minho’s cheeks apart and carefully flicks the tip of his tongue over Minho’s hole.

“Evil? You are meant to be enjoying yourself, Minho,” he tells his friend in a manner one explains something to a very slow and very stubborn child and he enjoys the way Minho’s whole body convulses as he licks over his opening again.

“I-I’m not saying I’m not enjoying this, jesus, Jinki-,” Minho’s voice falters as Jinki licks into him with more force and determination, his tongue making its way through Minho’s tightness, saliva dripping from Jinki’s chin as he licks into Minho over and over again with Minho’s body offering more of warm and soft flesh to Jinki to feast on and Jinki can’t stop himself even if he tried to, stabbing his tongue deeper into Minho’s body and was there really a time when he thought this wasn’t the right thing to do, to have?

Minho’s head snaps around and his hand finds Jinki’s wrist where it spreads Minho’s buttocks even more apart and their eyes lock there and then and Jinki almost comes from the sheer intensity of the moment and he feels as if everything inside him threatens to boil over so he focuses on his index finger as it joins his tongue inside Minho and the younger man bites into his bottom lip to the point that Jinki could swear he sees little specks of blood.

“Jinki, I-,” he does see the way Minho grinds himself against Jinki’s mattress, but he doesn’t give Minho a chance to catch his breath as he works his two fingers inside of Minho, fucking him with torturously slow motions. “I missed this, I missed you so _so_ much and there were nights when the other boys spoke about their girlfriends and their fears about them cheating or simply leaving for somebody else, and I thought about you, your kindness, your eyes, hands – fuck, your hands, hyung and I thought you aren’t like the rest of them and you wouldn’t, not when we, when we-,” Minho’s voice gets muffled by the pillow he squashes his face against, and Jinki more hears than see the unspilled tears behind the other man’s eyelids.

Jinki presses his body against Minho, his dick nestling itself between Minho’s thighs as he continues to stretch the younger man’s hole.

Jinki’s own voice sounds completely foreign to him as he whispers into the shell of Minho’s ear and licks at it at the same time.

“I have never had and never will have anybody else in the way I have you, do you understand, Minho? There, there isn’t anybody I would ever want the way I want you, the way I crave and need you all the fucking time,” he shivers against Minho as he pushes himself further between Minho’s thighs and the man under him starts to writhe even more desperately, Jinki’s new satin bed sheets be dammed. “You must know that, Minho. Tell me that you know that. I want to hear it.”

Minho’s hair is far too short to grab onto so Jinki grabs him by the chin, forcing him to turn his head to the side.

“I want to hear you to say it,” he demands and this time it’s much louder and desperate.

There are three of Jinki’s fingers in Minho now and Jinki loves the way Minho’s whole body becomes flushed and sweaty while he pushes into Jinki for more.

Minho’s eyes snap open at the urgency of Jinki’s voice and he nods once, twice – he nods until they both lose the track of time, “yeah. This, _this_ is ours and I’m yours. Always. I’m yours the same way you are mine.”

Jinki’s mouth stretches into the smile which he thinks must look positively manic, but who the hell cares with Choi Minho spread naked under him, fucking himself on Jinki’s fingers as if his life depends on it.

He kisses the back of Minho’s head lightly, and he thinks about how much he loves the man, who is his very best friend, his lover, his everything.

“Let go, Minho. Let me have it all,” he whispers as one of his hands reaches for a bottle of lubricant and condom, “let go, soldier.”

And it’s as if something in Minho finally slots itself in the correct place and that last bit of strain disappears from between his shoulder blades and his whole face goes perfectly relaxed as Jinki pushes himself into Minho bit by bit and it feels as if they have been broken to million little pieces just to be built anew.

Jinki’s movements lack any form of finesse and control he wants to pretend he has left when Minho’s body arches against his to get closer and he gets swallowed by an incredible heath and familiarity, one he never wants to leave again.

“Oh, god, hyung. I-I can feel you everywhere. You are everywhere. God-,” Minho sobs when Jinki reaches around his body and grabs his swollen dick into his palm, Minho pouring more and more precum over Jinki’s fingers and Jinki speeds up the movement of his hand over him whilst slamming in and out of Minho’s body frantically. It definitely isn’t the slow, passionate lovemaking he had in mind at the beginning of the evening, but Jinki knows there is always the next time when they won’t be so desperate and hungry for each other.

“I’m not gonna last, hyung. It’s all too much,” Minho whispers and then he goes completely silent and perfectly still as he comes, painting Jinki’s black bed sheets with long ribbons of white.

It should be perhaps little embarrassing but it also isn’t, the way Jinki follow Minho almost instantly as the tight ring of Minho’s muscles clamps around his dick.

Jinki’s arms give up almost immediately and he lands on the top of Minho against his best efforts.

“My sweet, Jinki. Always so incredibly graceful.”

°°° °°°

“Are you asleep?” Jinki’s voice sounds unsure where it hovers laced with a dose of uncertainty over Minho’s head. He blinks his eyes open and can’t help himself but smiles instantly as Jinki fumbles with a warm washcloth for a bit before he cleans the mess from Minho’s body and climbs back into the bed with him.

“I’m not sure I can,” he admits slowly as he watches Jinki, who makes himself comfortable on the top of Minho’s chest, his hair falling far too adorably over his eyes no matter how many times Jinki tries and blows it away. “I missed you far too much to do something so commonplace as sleep.”

Jinki puffs his cheeks in the sweetest possible way, and his lips shape around some words that never manage to leave the inside of his mouth.

“Minhooo!”

“Hyuuuung!”

Jinki smiles at him in the way Minho loves the most – he smiles with his entire being as he clings to the other man and Minho doesn’t waste a single second and hugs the older man back.

“There is always the next time and you look really tired and I want you to get some rest before we visit your family tomorrow. So will you try your very best and sleep? Will you? For me?”

Minho feels himself melting in Jinki’s arms, the other man melodic voice as always creating the safest harbour for Minho – no matter how far from home he strays. He blinks once, twice and his eyes suddenly feel so _so_ heavy and he hears Jinki’s voice as the older man tells him about his own time at home and a wooden spoon he tried to make but Minho doesn’t hear the rest of the story, because although only a few moments ago the sleep seemed far away from Minho’s mind, he wants nothing less than bury himself in everything _Jinki_ and with that thought, the soldier in him finally falls asleep and returns home.


End file.
